Nope, not today. I'm not doing a food diary for today, its way too embarrassing. Seriously. I started out the day ok. I had my meals planned. I ate my bacon and egg for breakfast but the pineapple was hard and not very good. I didn't have time to grab another fruit so I ran out the door and off to work I went. I packed beef stew for my lunch and took an orange for snack. Then I got to work and they passed out valentine's donuts to everyone. I wasn't going to eat it. I really wasn't, but I was still hungry and it was my favorite kind, and as long as I count the syns I'll be ok. Then came the Hershey's kisses from the big boss, the box of Lindor truffles from my supervisor (my absolute favorite). I thought I could just eat 1 truffle, oh how wrong I was. I ate the whole box and then I was sugar high and not much giving a damn so I ate the kisses too. By then it was lunch time and I thought I better try to get something nutritious into me, but I was full from all the junk so I only ate a few bites of my stew. Around 2:30 I got hungry again and it was break time. I grabbed my orange and headed to the break room where the left over donuts were sitting there calling my name very loudly. Yup, I ate another one and my orange got ignored. Then I came home from work, cooked a nice yummy meal of curry chicken and rice with green beans on the side, but I was way too bloated and sugar high to want to eat at all. Now, here I sit hating myself for binging like that and wondering how I ever expect to lose weight if I can't control myself. How will I ever make this work if 1 chocolate truffle will lead to a whole box down the hatch. There is always going to be some holiday or some reason people are handing out sweets. I know I have no one to blame but myself, I'm just having a pity party and I will pick myself back up and get right back on track. I just feel like such a failure, and it is affecting how I am treating the wonderful people I live with. I yelled at 2 of my kids for no good reason, then promptly apologized. Then I went to the store with my husband and called myself slamming the car doors, again for no reason. I'm not fit to be around humans right now. I probably shouldn't be around animals either, its a good thing we don't have any pets. And I have a tooth ache. UGH!
weigh in: 218.9 down .6 from last week and too aggravated to figure out the total right now.
I'm going to bed now.
Those sugar highs can be detrimental to our psyche. Happens to me all the time. Doing so well staying away from the sugar overload to slip one day and suddenly I've grown 10ft, fangs, claws, and my husband swears there are horns and a tail. Once my body has balanced back out then I'm "me" again. Goal is to force in protein when I overload on the sugars. Helps lesson those alternate views of self. A tail. hahaha My oldest teases that it has spikes on it. hahaha
ReplyDeleteDon't beat yourself up too much over this. It's human nature to "cheat" and when we are too strict on ourselves then we cause our own downfall by binging. I did this last week. I was eating Fritos and hot bean dip. Something my husband can eat in 4 days where as I can eat it all in one sitting. Tsk tsk. I must stop that binging. Too much salt is just as bad as the sugar.